I hate high heels because they’re a male invention to make a woman’s butt look smaller and to make it harder for them to run away.

 

 

Tact is for people who are not witty enough to be sarcastic. Sarcasm is the best quality of smart people. So, tact is for fools.

 

 

Love is the slowest form of suicide. If you want to die, you’d better throw yourself out of a window.

 

 

I’m in a mission to make my computer explode by thinking evil things at it. I’ve got half mission accomplished though, my internet has blown up.

 

 

Acts speak louder than words. Except if you’re reading a book.

 

 

I like art-dèco, but something designed like a Swiss chalet should never exist outside of Switzerland.

 

 

A house should never be painted flamingo pink, jaundice yellow and nursing home teal. If I lived in that place I’d burnt it down for the good of humanity. It should be illegal. There’s such thing as eye pollution and assault on good taste.

 

 

Can’t you be the hero for me? Don’t you know that us damsel in distress females need big, strong, manly men like you around to save the day? Please, get a grip…

 

 

If life hands you lemons say: I like lemons! What else do you got? Perhaps some sugar and water? Cause I really love lemonade…

 

 

I: I don’t see anything good coming from this but your sick pleasure.

P: Right, because when I’m feeling sadistic I like to take people to get check-ups. Nothing but a cold stethoscope spells revenge.

 

 

I’d start a revolution if I could get up in the morning.

 

 

I: Don’t sing, I’m begging you.

D: Are you saying that I’m not a good singer?

I: No, you have a wonderful voice. I’m sure the dog’s just trying to burrow her way into the couch cushions because it looks comfortable under there.

 

 

A la policía solo la ayuda la mala gente: las mediums, los vampiros, los chivotas, las alcahuetas y las meretrices.

What the hell are you doing here?! It's 6 am! Are you trying to make me hate you? Because if you are, you are coming dangerously close to succeding.